As I have met widows and talked with them, the one theme that comes up in conversations is how much the word “widow” is despised. I always agree with them; the word is awful. The word to me sounds so lonely and cold. As a child, I had two great grandmothers that were widows. In my mind, they were the poster women for that word. But they fit the word widow to me, they were older and lived alone since their children were grown and had families of their own.
So how did that “W” word become a word associated with me?
I am neither as old as they were or alone in my household. I have a child living at home with me. I am not a “poster woman” for this word. I hate filling out forms that ask your marital status. Checking the widow box on forms hurts my heart. In my mind I am too young to check that box. That “W” word brings up emotions of disgust and sadness. Some might think it’s silly for that to happen, but I say to them you must not be a widow. Only a widow(er) would understand that knife stuck in the heart. It’s neither silly or ridiculous. It can be painful and bring up feelings of sadness.
As I think about that word and how it is attached to me, it doesn’t define me, but it is associated with me. I have sat and thought about the women through history that have been widows and they didn’t let that word keep them in the shadows. One such widow was Alexander Hamilton’s widow Eliza Hamilton. My daughter Emily is a huge history lover and she loves Hamilton, The Musical. I learned that Eliza went on to do several extraordinary things in her life after the untimely death of Alexander. She helped found the Orphan Asylum Society which still exists today and is known as Graham Windham. She also helped raise money for the construction of the Washington Monument that stands proudly in Washington D.C. She lived 50 more years and never remarried. In an article on smithsonianmag.com it says that Eliza and Alexander’s son James once complimented his mother’s heroic work for poor orphans, and she replied pragmatically, “My Maker has pointed out this duty to me, and has given me the skill and inclination to perform it.” Wow!!! What a widow warrior she was!!
I think about the poor widows that endured so much in the past. History is full of stories of widows and how they went on to do so much good for others. A lot of them talk about their faith in Christ and how He brought them through their darkest times.
Do you trust God in your darkest times?
I know the word widow is not fun to think about. I know none of us want that word attached to us. But God loves us and we are special to Him. God loves and cares for our children. Psalm 146:9 NIV says to us, “The Lord watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.” He sees us and knows our hearts. Psalm 68:4-5 NIV states, “Sing to the God, sing in praise of His name, extol Him who rides on the clouds; rejoice before Him-His name is the Lord. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.” We are special to Him, please never forget that.
God sees us for so much more than that word, widow. We are His children and He loves us beyond measure. Psalm 34:18 NIV reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Just know and trust that He sees us, knows our pain, and lifts us up where we are. Not only is God for you and fighting for you, but there are so many of us widow warriors that are fighting right beside you also; you are NEVER alone!!
A Prayer for The Night: